Monday, January 28, 2008

Of Mice and Whatever

Sometimes, I just really don't know what to write about. Have you ever had the problem? That's actually one of the reasons that I started this blog--sometimes I just can't write novels but I still want to jot down my thoughts and feelings.

I don't know... It's like poor people in misery just ain't doin' it for me anymore. I mean, what about spaceships and laser guns? That just sounds fun! But whenever I do that, my editor is all "Where did he find power armor along Route 66?"

Speaking of which, have you seen Cars? That's all about Route 66, but it's way more fun than Grapes of Wrath. What if Tom Joad was a car? What would he be? My first thought would be to say that crazy contraption the Beverly Hillbillies rode around in. Man, that's funny stuff.

The Winter of My Discontent

I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting so sick of winter! Look at my car! Look at all that snow! I mean, Al Gore can talk all he wants about Global Warming, but he ain't convincing me when I gots to push three feet of snow off of my Ford.

And the weathermen? Don't even get me started on them. I sometimes wonder what they do in meteorology school! Look at meteors!? I bet.

One nice thing, though, is that sometimes I just like to stay at home and put my feet up and relax. It's hard to do that on a sunny day, but when they weather outside is frightful, the fire is so delightful.

Tortilla FAT

I'll tell you one thing: there's no such thing as a bad Nachos Bell Grande. I mean, you've got it all in there: Beef, Cheese, Chips, Onions, Bell Pepper, Sour Cream. It's the real deal. Remember when Tom Joad was coming across the plains, or whatever, and he kept cutting off a little piece of the roast and kept it in his mouth until it "was white and perfectly tasteless"? Well, you can be sure that he would have liked to throw back a couple Nachos Bell Grande and wash it down with a Mountain Dew. Do the Dew!

Whereever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, it'll probably be over Nachos Bell Grande. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, it's probably cause he stole Nachos Bell Grande. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad an'—I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry and they know it's time for nachos.